disgust

i just spent a good 3 hours cleaning up my room
today the wood thingy for my bed arrived,
so i can FINALLY sleep on my bed.

and i changed the fitted sheet
and the pillow covers
and the quilt cover
so now it actually resembles a girl's room again

then i re-arranged all my novels
by most favourite authors to least
then i re-arranged my dvds
by most expensive,categories,favourites and wutnots
then i re-arranged my dressing table
by the order it was the last time
then i hung my audrey poster again
and my audrey calendar
and i re-decorated my sofa w/ the pillows and the throws
and i re-did my dressing table so that it looked like it did the last time

so ur probably thinking why am i wasting my time
cleaning up my room when im only gonna be staying there for another 2 weeks
if u didnt know,
my flight is on Sept the 6th
the reason behind it is,
because i miss my room.

when the guests were here my room was completely transformed
no trace of me whatsoever
everything gone,and even looked somewhat masculine

so let me have the simple pleasure of my room,
to MY liking,
for the remainder of my time here

im really getting very maudlin these days
i feel like im in this huge cage and its closing in on me
the cage being the day i'll be leaving,metaphorically speaking
and i hate it
i really REALLY hate it

i mean im excited,dun get me wrong
but i dont know theres just something depressing about going away
and i have to leave ibu
i dont want to leave ibu!
she's my bestfriend
what will i do without her?
what will she do without me?

like i said,
its all just too depressing,
which takes away all the joy in going i tell u
and i worry about ibu,
who will be there for her when shes sick,or needs someone to talk to
or anything.

maybe im just thinking too much